Let’s tell a homestuck one.

thefuckinmirthfulmes:

John invited his father over for dinner. During the meal, his father couldn’t help noticing how handsome John’s roommate, Dave, was. He had long been suspicious of Johns’ sexual orientation and this only made him more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, he started to wonder if there was more between John and Dave than met the eye.

Reading his dad’s thoughts, John volunteered, “I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, I am not homosexual. Dave and I are just roommates.”

About a week later, Dave came to John and said, “ever since your dad came to dinner, I can’t find that fucking gravy ladle. i think your old man took it.”

John said, “Well, I doubt it, but I’ll write him a letter just to be sure.” So he sat down and wrote: “Dear Dad, I’m not saying you ‘did’ take a gravy ladle from my house, and I’m not saying you ‘did not’ take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.”

Several days later, John received a letter from his father which read: “Dear Son, I’m not saying that you ‘do’ sleep with Dave, and I’m not saying that you ‘do not’ sleep with Dave. But the fact remains that if he was sleeping in his own bed, he would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Dad”

And so the King of Pranks strikes again.